DELETE—Moving Day

by Brittany Geragotelis

Once a week, my guest blogger (who shall remain nameless...okay, not nameless...let's call her Ms. Sassy Pants. Sassy for short) stops by to share all the things in her life that deserve a big, fat DELETE. Anyhoo, her majesty is back and this week, she's taking on her big move. Check out what she had to say and then come up with a few DELETES of your own.

As you may or may not know, I moved recently, and with that comes hiccups. Moving is a tad stressful, and believe me, I've had plenty of opportunities to flip a switch. But as the lady of dignity and grace that I am, I just take passive aggressive action and bitch about it here...and then administer a few mental eye rolls when nobody's watching.

So, what's more worthy of a big, fat DELETE than moving into a new place? Well, as a housewarming present, I give you the highlights of my move:

photo credit: The CW/Gossip Girl

Neighbors. Now that I live in a co-op I have plenty of them. Some are lovely and some...not so much. For example, calling the doorman to complain about noise (a.k.a. me walking around my apartment) instead of marching your ass upstairs, knocking politely on the door and asking me to tread softly, deserves a big fat slap in the face...or in this case I can settle for a DELETE.

Parking in NYC. Are you kidding me? The day of my move there was an ice storm (note to self: living in the Northeast...DELETE) and the City had suspended alternate side of the street parking. So, Little Ms. Sassy Pants had to get creative in a pinch. What did I do you ask? I parked on the bloody sidewalk. Wouldn't you? So, to no parking in Manhattan and all of the absurd rules there are here...DELETE.

People offering their opinion when loading the van. Unless you roll up your bleeping sleeves and offer a hand, you douche, why don't you step off and shut your trap. I have my own debate going on in my head and I don't need you adding to the peanut gallery. DELETE.

Unpacking. One word...DELETE. But maybe in the process I can "accidentally" drop one or two boxes just to pay tribute to my kind neighbor downstairs.

photo credit: Warner Home Video/Friends

Laundry room etiquette. True story. The kind, considerate person that I am, I only use ONE washing machine. Let me reiterate: ONE. So I go down to reload the ONE machine I was using and this woman (if you can call her that...I prefer the term beastly nuisance) said she wanted to use my machine. I assumed she had been waiting for one to open up, so I was ready to relinquish my claim and concede. But something didn't smell right...must have been coming from her since she just crawled out of her cave. I asked, "Are you using any other machine?" And the beast responded, "yes, I'm using these as well." She was using ALL of the other machines! The nerve of her! Trying to get her paws all over my one remaining machine. And then, just when you think it can't get any worse, she commences with the most despicable act of them all. She pulled the "baby" card. She had a baby sleeping upstairs and didn't want to be running back and forth to the laundry room. Who leaves a child alone to do laundry? Oh yeah, that's right. A friggin beast. DELETE.

Ahhhh...good times in Chez Sassy.

5x5,
B.

DELETE—Painting's Partners

by Brittany Geragotelis

Once a week, my guest blogger (who shall remain nameless...okay, not nameless...let's call her Ms. Sassy Pants. Sassy for short) stops by to share all the things in her life that deserve a big, fat DELETE. Anyhoo, her majesty is back and this week, she's seriously annoyed with painting...and her new boyfriend...and not necessarily in that order. Check out what she had to say and then come up with a few DELETES of your own.

I hate people...but I hate painting even more. As much as I love the end result, the process BLOWS. And what’s even more annoying, the comments from the peanut gallery (a.k.a. the boyfriend). All this time spent bitching and moaning about being single, well let me tell ya ladies and gents, the grass ain’t always greener.

So let me put it to you this way: having a hot boyfriend that's at your beck and call AND who helps you paint…yes, please! Having a hot boyfriend with a brain AND an opinion while you're painting…DELETE.

So here's a brief insight into the dialogue that went on this weekend:

Hot Boyfriend: "This is the color you’re going with?" Hot Girlfriend (that’s me): "You’re in my apartment holding the can of paint...did you think I’m just collecting paint for shits and giggles? Yes, that's the color I’m going with...is there a problem?" DELETE!

Hot Boyfriend: "This tape isn’t straight…this is how you need to do it." Hot Girlfriend: "I don’t remember needing instructions on anything last night, so how about not telling me what to do now? Okay? Thanks." DELETE!

Hot Girlfriend to Hot Boyfriend after his diatribe about how to "properly roll” the paint: “I understand how a roller works, so you can spare me the commentary. Or are you just doing a piece for the Times?” DELETE!

Hot Girlfriend to Hot Boyfriend when he started comparing his painting skills to hers: "I'm sorry...I didn’t realize this was a competition. As far as I’m concerned you should be doing all the painting." So, by actually making me paint at all? DELETE!

Hot Girlfriend to Hot Boyfriend when he stepped in paint and tracked it all around the apartment: "This isn't a barn." DELETE!

So, next week I’ll be moving into aforementioned apartment. I’m sure THAT will provide endless DELETE material...stay tuned!

5x5,

B.

Debut of "Life's a Witch!"

by Brittany Geragotelis

Hey all!

Hope you've had an awesome holiday break! I definitely have. My boyfriend Matt and I moved into our new apartment, deep in the heart of the upper east side of Manhattan, and after nearly 2 weeks of packing, moving, unloading, unpacking, cleaning, decorating and setting things up (phew, it makes me tired just thinking about it!), we're officially home, sweet, home. Don't believe me? Take a look at the pics:



Pretty awesome, huh?

Next, you know the superstition that what you do on New Year's Day is the way the rest of your year will go? Well, I'm taking full advantage of the magic of the universe and launching the first two chapters of my latest book, Life's a Witch, on the totally awesome website, Wattpad. Check out my amazing book cover, designed by my incredible friend, Toni Misthos (She's genius and I'm so in love with what she designed!!!). A literary youtube for aspiring and established authors, Wattpad approached me a few months ago and expressed an interest in promoting my books on their site, and of course I jumped at the opportunity! They already have a plethora of talented writers posting their stuff on the site, so I was thrilled to be working with them and have their full support along the way (check out what the wattpaddies wrote about this blog recently!).

Life's a Witch is a modern retelling of the Salem Witch Trials, with a fun teen twist. And for the first time ever, it's going to be available to all my fans! So, be sure to check out the first two chapters at wattpad.com or better yet, download the app today (come on...you know you wanna!), and then log on every Saturday for a brand new chapter!

And since it's new years, the day we make resolutions that we plan to keep for another 365 days (or two weeks if it includes working out and dieting), why not add, "Read more books" to that list? I promise, it's much more fun than sweating on a treadmill.

Happy new year!

5x5,
B.