Sunday, October 3, 2010

DELETE—Bad days and Bad attitudes

by Brittany Geragotelis

My guest blogger, Ms. Sassy Pants is back and ready to hit the DELETE button. Here's what she had to say this week!

For me, bad weather equals a bad attitude. Put on top of that, the fact that I already hate people and, well, you see where this is going. Let’s just say that my irritability is “heightened” when we have a crappy week of weather. Unfortunately that was my last week: grey skies and rainy days makes Ms. Sassy Pants a real bitch. And with that comes—you got it—great material.

I just don’t understand why people think it’s okay to behave like animals. Like, all bets were off when they entered the world and social etiquette just doesn’t apply to them. The sense of entitlement is mind-boggling sometimes.

For example...the other day I was standing in line at my favorite coffee shop (one that isn’t an international chain posing as a “coffee shop" and actually serves GOOD coffee…but I digress) and some twit barges in talking on her phone and steps right up to the front of the line, completely unaware that there were people waiting in line already. She’s acting like Lindsay Lohan on a bad day, and she’s holding up the line because she can’t decide what she wants. You can’t be serious. It’s a freaking coffee shop…why not start with a coffee? Do you think that will work for you, you freaking bleep?

Looks like I should stop there before this gets really ugly…DELETE

Oh and did I mention that while this horrible woman was waiting for her coffee (yes she bleeping took 10 bleeping minutes to order a bleeping cup of coffee) she inhaled the entire plate of pastry samples? Straight up treated it as if it were her own breakfast buffet. The nerve! I’ll say it again…DELETE.

And now to the good stuff…my DELETED list for the week:

People with an over-inflated sense of entitlement…DELETE!

When people from your past show up out of the blue thinking all this time you’ve been dying to jump back into their arms. You've heard the song: I Will Survive...DELETE!

Speaking of disco, glitter spandex worn for a leisurely stroll in Central Park. Newsflash: disco is dead…DELETE!

People who use umbrellas while walking under scaffolding. Unless you think my eyeball is the perfect accessory to your umbrella, close it you d-bag…DELETE!

Spitting. This blows my mind. People who spit on the subway platform, on the subway, on the bus…WHY???? Would you spit on your apartment floor? In a restaurant? In your car? Do you have so much mouth juice you just can’t swallow and you have to spit to relieve your discomfort? It’s becoming an epidemic and it needs to be stopped…DELETE!

Now off to face the world this week…DELETE, DELETE, DELETE!
Ms. Sassy Pants out.

5x5, B.


Anonymous said...

Hilarious. . . .absolutely hilarious. Whoever is the person who is writing this "DELETE" section. . . .they are so witty and I just laugh all the way through.
I know, I know.. . . you're all thinking the same things. . . She's just stating them!!

Anonymous said...

Best DELETE yet!!! I agree with all of the above SO I've thought of the exact same little points..some people, I just don't think they have brains?!