Sunday, October 17, 2010

DELETE—Didn't your parents teach you any manners?

by Brittany Geragotelis

Once a week, my guest blogger (who shall remain nameless...okay, not nameless...let's call her
Ms. Sassy Pants. Sassy for short) stops by to share all the things in her life that deserve a big, fat DELETE. Anyhoo, her majesty is back and wondering what happened to good, old-fashioned manners. Check out what she had to say and then come up with a few DELETE's of your own.

Question: Whatever happened to manners? I’m really beginning to notice a drastic decline in the likes of common courtesy. Did I miss the memo that said, "ATTENTION: The use of manners has been DELETED from public policy. Set forth and behave like a dirty bleep-hole."
Unfortunately (as you already know) I hate people. And with this recent (or maybe not so recent) development, I’m afraid it's going to get to the point where Miss Sassy Pants (a.k.a. Miss Manners) will never be able to leave the house again. I’m going to become the fat cat lady who eats pornographically and watches too much reality TV…wait a minute…

Well, against all odds I actually made it out of the house Saturday night and met a friend for dinner. It was late and there were only three of us in the restaurant; my friend, me and a man sitting across from us. PERFECT right? Quiet and empty. We could actually hold a conversation without annoying people sitting right on top of us. WRONG! You know, sometimes I feel like I’m being punked...but I'm getting off topic.
The man sitting across from us apparently DID get the aforementioned memo, because the entire time he was snorzeling and sniffing (to put it politely) his snot back up his nose and into his throat as he ate his dinner (need a tissue, pal?). Not to mention, as he was performing his nasal gymnastics, he was also slurping his food and making smacking mouth noises. I’m sorry…Were we eating in a bleeping barn?
No wonder he was eating alone. One word for you buddy…DELETE!
Now a few more to add to the list this week:
Picking your nose in public. I don’t care what you do at home, but I don’t need to see you mining for gold while I'm eating dinner or shopping for a top. Get those sausage fingers out of your nose…DELETE!

Mouth breathers...DELETE!
Sneezing and not covering your face. I don’t need another shower today, buddy…DELETE!
Poor grammar and annunciation. For example, say frustrated out loud. It’s spelled FRUSTRATED…not FUH-strated. Or library……not LY-BERRY. WTF, people...DELETE!
Eating stinky food (or food in general) on any form of public transportation. And just so you know, the definition of public transportation includes, trains, taxis, buses and subways…DELETE!
Anyone that calls me “Mommi.” I mean, really?!? Did I give birth to you? I don't think so...DUH-LETE!
Until next time kids (because apparently I’m your “Mommi”)—behave!

What has you reaching for the DELETE button this week? Go ahead and leave yours in the comments section here!


Anonymous said...

People who don't use cruise control really get on my nerves! DELETE! =]

Anonymous said...

People who don't hold the door open for someone coming in right behind them....people who laugh really loud in public places....people who talk on their cell phones in public places loud enough for the entire word to hear....delete, delete,delete