Sunday, January 2, 2011

DELETE—Keep your friends close...

by Brittany Geragotelis

Once a week, my guest blogger (who shall remain nameless...okay, not nameless...let's call her
Ms. Sassy Pants. Sassy for short) stops by to share all the things in her life that deserve a big, fat DELETE. Anyhoo, her majesty is back and this week, she's fed up with passive-aggressive BS. Check out what she had to say and then come up with a few DELETES of your own.

photo credit: The CW/90210
Recently I was having a conversation with a friend (yes, I have them) and he said something extremely off-putting and then had the nerve to follow up with “I’m just kidding.” Really? Were you now? Or were you really speaking the truth, veiled by a joke? Truth in humor, we all know exists, but just how much can we take of this round-about-way of stating your opinion? Cut to the chase buddy…as far as I’m concerned (and that is clearly all that matters here) this is one phrase that should be DELETED from our vocabulary.
But before we DELETE it forever, here are a few others that should be eliminated as well. How about…
Do you ever stop talking? I’m just kidding…I love listening to your stories. DELETE.
You’re wearing that? I’m just kidding…concert tees are so retro. DELETE.
Is your boyfriend always so boring? I’m just kidding…he seems like an excellent listener. DELETE.
Have you gained weight? I’m just kidding…you look so healthy! DELETE.
What did you do to your hair? I’m just kidding…platinum blonde is so 50’s bombshell. DELETE.
Your apartment is actually smaller than mine—I didn’t know that was possible! I’m just kidding…it’s so cozy. DELETE.
I love you. I’m just kidding...I just wanted to see what you were going to say. DELETE.
I’m still hooking up with my ex. I’m just kidding...Or am I? Just kidding…or not. DELETE.
photo credit: Bravo/Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Why are you such an asshole? Just kidding…I love your directness. DELETE.
Ever heard of personal space? Just kidding…you're so intimate. DELETE.
Alright kiddies…I’m sure you can take it from here.