Monday, January 17, 2011

DELETE--How to spot a jerk.

by Brittany Geragotelis

Once a week, my guest blogger (who shall remain nameless...okay, not nameless...let's call her
Ms. Sassy Pants. Sassy for short) stops by to share all the things in her life that deserve a big, fat DELETE. Anyhoo, her majesty is back and this week, she's got some tips on how to spot a jerk. Check out what she had to say and then come up with a few DELETES of your own.

So, as you know, I now have a Hot Boyfriend who helps me paint AND move. But there have been other guys in the past who haven’t treated me like the princess I am. I'm so glad that I’m no longer in the ring a.k.a. the NYC dating scene. I hope to soon have a different sort of “ring” to look forward to, and DELETE all those bad dates and man behavior from my memory once and for all.
I would be doing the world a disservice if I didn’t share my extensive experience with the masses. Someone's got to warn you about the emotional vampires lurking in unsuspecting places, just waiting to attack! Here are a few of the warning signs that maybe things aren't really headed in the right direction.
You’ve been dating seriously for a couple of months but when you leave his house one morning, he says, “I’ll call you soon.” Soon? Really? DELETE.
He goes radio silent over Valentine’s Day weekend…never to be heard from again. Unless you’ve been abducted by aliens, illegal or extraterrestrial, DELETE.
When he invites you out to dinner at 7:30 and then texts you at 10:00 to let you know that he is going to stay in for the night...DELETE.
If he ever utters the words, “Don’t fall in love with me.”...DELETE.
If he asks you what you're going to do when he breaks your heart...DELETE.
If he sends you photos of “junior”...DELETE.
If his idea of a first date includes a “rub down” of any kind...DELETE.
If he refers to your chest as a “nice rack”...DELETE.
If he hosts after-parties…just for girls. Let me put it to you this way, “Hugh”…DELETE.
He goes dark for a week, and then out of the blue, sends you a text to see how you are. Well as far as you’re concerned, I might as well be dead, because you won’t be hearing from me again, sir...DELETE.
Good luck out there.