Once a week, my guest blogger (who shall remain nameless...okay, not nameless...let's call her Ms. Sassy Pants. Sassy for short) stops by to share all the things in her life that deserve a big, fat DELETE. Anyhoo, her majesty is back and this week she's trying to imagine a life without chocolate. HINT: It's not pretty. Check out what she had to say and then come up with a few DELETES of your own.
After awakening from my food-induced coma last weekend, which was a direct result of my massive consumption of chocolate (yes, I was one of those bitches shoving my face with chocolates while thinking about that "perfect" relationship), I thought to myself, what would my life be like without chocolate? So here is a brief peek into what my life would be like without my soul's companion.
I would be really skinny...sounds good right? Wrong. Ever run into a starving animal? Vicious I tell you. DELETE!
PMS gone wild, add quick wit and intellect...be afraid, very afraid. DELETE!
Lying in bed for days as a result of boys behaving badly. It would be a huge injustice to rid the world of my delightful presence. DELETE!
Crying all the time as a result of the PMS gone wild and boys behaving badly. All of my anger and despair would cause the development of premature worry lines and wrinkles. Hot? Not. DELETE!
Picture a crazy raving witch. Sweating, delirious, hair all askew in an old nighty. Sound like something out of a horror movie? No, that's just me, on a good day, when I'm off of chocolate. DELETE!
As much as I hate to admit it, chocolate has been a life saver in times of need. Comforted me when all hope was lost, kept me from getting wrinkles for the love of Pete! So just like all of my relationships...this love/hate affair will carry on.