Sunday, February 27, 2011

DELETE—Look who's getting old

by Brittany Geragotelis

Once a week, my guest blogger (who shall remain nameless...okay, not nameless...let's call her Ms. Sassy Pants. Sassy for short) stops by to share all the things in her life that deserve a big, fat DELETE. Anyhoo, her majesty is back and this week she's sick of getting older. Check out what she had to say and then come up with a few DELETES of your own.

Simply put, I ain't getting any younger. And with the celebration of my (fill in the blank; a lady never ages and tells) birthday this past month, I began to realize just how OLD I'm getting. And that deserves a hefty DELETE.

So here are a few things to add to the "you know you're getting old when" list....
Songs you grew up to are now featured on the oldies station on Pandora radio. DELETE.
You start getting unsolicited issues of Prevention magazine. Uh, I'm still a Cosmo girl, thank you very much. DELETE.
You start to get spam emails from singles sites specializing in the 40 and over crowd...Newsflash Mr. Sensitivo, I'm not 40, so stop pushing it on me. DELETE.
People start calling you Ma'am. DELETE.
People at the beauty counter start offering you restorative as opposed to preventative creams...or just start offering you anti-wrinkle creams in general. DELETE.
People you went to high school with now have kids in granted, where I come from, we start breeding in our teens so that isn't SUCH a stretch. DELETE.
Your body parts have fallen victim to gravity and now you need a sling for the a teen, we called it a bra, but now it's become a safety harness. DELETE.
Hair (the horror) and clothing styles (high-waisted jeans) from high school are making a comeback. DELETE.
You have to go to the salon to get a color "touch up" every four weeks in order to cover your natural "highlights"--a.k.a. gray hairs. DELETE.
Everything starts to crack when you get out of bed or stand up. DELETE.
You suddenly have to get up to pee more than once during the night. DELETE.
Forgetting people's names...but that can just be becuse I'm self absorbed. DELETE.

Whoever said age is just a number or a state of mind needs to be DELETED. We all know it's about what you look like on the outside that really counts. See you next week kiddies.



Anonymous said...

I agree. The moment someone at the grocery store called me Ma'am, I was devistated. . . after all, I didn't feel much older than him. Well, you're not 40 yet, but when you turn about 45, you start receiving endless mailings from AARP. That's the worst. It goes straight in the trash. I'm not ready for senior housing and assistance, so I certainly don't want their unsolicited AARP info.