Friday, February 24, 2012

Curious Corner--Hour of Distress

Hi. I'm Sacha Breitman and I'd like to welcome you to my brand new column, The Curious Corner. Now, a little about me: I'm a young guy who was raised in the fashion industry of this big--but small--city of New York. Some people may call me an airhead but I prefer to call myself a surrealist. What can I say? I'm a dreamer. I love music, poetry, books and rain. I also love meeting new people. Today I'm sharing one of my short stories with you. Enjoy!

Hour of Distress

I have been waiting now ten minutes for her response. My hands and feet are cold; my heart is beating so fast that I feel as if I would soon have a heart attack. I bet you she won’t text back! How ridiculous my text was to her… I asked if she was free sometime this week—but the way I asked it… Maybe she’ll just yell at me. I’d rather her yell at me than ignore me. I couldn’t live another moment not knowing if she hated me. I don’t blame her. Sometimes I don’t like me too—but she has always been so friendly. I hope she likes me. I really like her. Please God! I am trembling! Janie please text me soon! I am begging you.

It has been the longest twenty minutes of my life. My hands are still cold—if not colder—and my heart is still racing. Come on Janie please sedate this pain and text me. I’ve checked my phone countless amounts of times and still you haven’t replied. I’ve just received a text! Please be Janie—please be Janie… Raphael! I felt an evanescent ease, but once I saw it was Raphael—Oh it vanished like the wind and my hands and feet grew only colder. I won’t answer Raphael’s text. I am too consumed to ever text again. Until Janie responds I may never write again. But I should do something to get my mind off her. Awaiting her call is poisoning me. It is like one of those suspenseful movies that end during a cliffhanger. I always leave the theatre in confusion wondering if the protagonist will live happily or die miserably. It is a distressful state to leave a theatre in! My hands get cold and my heart also races during those movies. Speaking of movies why not watch some television. That would be a good idea. I will do that. But where is the remote? It is not under the couch and neither is it in the living room. The horrible thing about modern technology is that it only gets more complex. That is not good for the user is it? I do not know how to turn on my TV without a remote. There used to be an on button that one would have to push; but since everyone including me now own flat screen TVs, the button is impossible to find. I also can not search for it in such an obsessed state! Maybe I just need some sleep. No no! I cannot sleep with this heart of rancor! It keeps me restless by beating me into that fight or flight mode. That selfish prick! Thirty minutes now! I don’t know how much longer my heart could beat this way! Maybe if I call Jesse my mind will be relieved of Janie.


“Hey, what’s up Jesse?”

“Oh you know. Just relaxing and eating a turkey sandwich. You?”

“Um. Nothing much. The same—except I am not eating a sandwich, but what a good idea that is. Maybe I should eat something.”

“Yeah, eating is good. I like to eat.”

“I bet you do Jesse.”

“You hanging out later.”

“I can’t—maybe. Depending if Janie likes me or not. If she does I will see you; but if not I’ll probably want to be alone tonight.”

“Uh, okay. Good luck?”

‘Thanks. I’ll talk to you soon!”

I devote as much time as possible to the making of my sandwich. Just so you know I am a man of extravagance. I love to create lively meals—but only meals that one can prepare in less than five minutes. After five minutes, it is no longer fun for me to cook. But anyways, I am going to combine the roast beef with the honey cured ham and salami. I’ll then add some lettuce and tomatoes and a touch of Dijon mustard. Voila! A masterpiece! But she still hasn’t text me back! Well, fortunately I did kill a good ten minutes—but now she is back in my head. What to do now… Eating the sandwich may kill a couple more minutes. And as you may expect from a sandwich that was materialized by an extravagant character like me, the sandwich tasted pretty bad. Fortunately, I dropped it and then my dog ate it. Oh! Thank God. What a miserable time I had eating that sandwich—but now that the sandwich is gone from my mind; Janie is back. It has now been an hour with no answer. What an ass she is. Actually, I don’t even care to ever hear her response! If I had the luxury, I’d throw my phone right upon this very wall, but I will need it later. Janie can hate me all she wants. I’ll just ignore her back! I swear to you, reader—my phone rings! It must be her. Oh it is her and she wants to meet too! She doesn’t hate me! She loves me just as much as I love her! I bet she needed that hour to think of what to say to me. But what should I answer back? Maybe just give her a mere, “Sounds good;” or should I say something funny? Everyone loves something funny...


Shervins World said...

go sacha go!! so excited to see you writing!

Shervins World said...

Very funny and cute!