Monday, March 7, 2011

DELETE—Bar Bru-ha-ha

by Brittany Geragotelis

Once a week, my guest blogger (who shall remain nameless...okay, not nameless...let's call her Ms. Sassy Pants. Sassy for short) stops by to share all the things in her life that deserve a big, fat DELETE. Anyhoo, her majesty is back and she's sick of the bru-ha-ha that goes on at bars. Check out what she had to say and then come up with a few DELETES of your own.

Recently I went to go see a friend's band a bar. I have to admit it's been a while since I've hit "happy hour" or as I like to call it...unhappy hour. I'm much too refined and dignified to frequent such unseemly environments. Well that may be a stretch, but my point is, my experiences on said evening are most certainly DELETE-worthy.

I don't know if you can relate, but here are a few instances that come to mind:

Coworkers, after consuming a few cocktails, seem to think that they are now besties with the boss-man. Really? Can you breathe with your nose so far up his ass? DELETE!

Beware of any poles. Especially when little miss drunky decides that she is the sexiest (NOT) little muffin top in the room and begins to use the pole as a prop to bump and grind. Excuse me, this isn't a strip club. Hot Mess, party of one...your table is ready. DELETE!

Noise. Noise. Noise. Combine music, with the "lively" conversations of 100+ individuals and you have what I like to call the "kill me now" I can't hear a fracking thing factor. I'm here to listen to good music...not the latest office gossip. Shut your stinkin traps...DELETE!

Cat-calls, whistling, licking my face (yes I said it) or screaming of any kind...yo pal, I know I'm hot, but I'm a lady...treat me like one or go back to the barn that you crawled out of. DELETE!

Drink prices...obscene. Period. I shouldn't have to declare bankruptcy to enjoy a night out. DELETE!

So my advice time stay in, cuddle up with the one you love (whether it be animal or human) and enjoy a DELETE-free evening, sans bar.