Sunday, September 26, 2010

DELETE—Dates, Kissing and Frosted Lipstick

by Brittany Geragotelis

Okay, we've got Mrs. Sassy Pants back in the house and she's chock-ful of plenty of DELETE's for your amusement. Take a look at what made her list this week!

This week my motto is: be careful what you delete, because it may come back to bite you in the ass. For example, dating in New York City isn’t easy, but once in a while you will find that gem. The one who can actually string two sentences together with ease. The one who can shoot off a quick, witty response to an e-mail exchange. The one who's actually taller than a bridge troll. The one who's employed. And finally, the one who, at the end of your first date, sucks your face off in the middle of the street…wait a minute, did that just happen?

Why yes…yes it did. I’m sure my date and I gave quite a show to all the unwilling passersby (more like "street victims," actually). No one should have to bear witness to a game of tonsil hockey—where you can actually SEE the guy's tonsils! So you got it folks…he has been DELETED!

Other things that got the DELETE button this week:

Anyone who thinks it’s okay to suck your face off at the end of a first date…DELETE!
photo credit: The CW/Gossip Girl
People full-on making out in the middle of the street. I know this was on last week's list, but it deserves another mention because apparently people are not getting it…DELETE!

People who hold the elevator door open to finish a conversation. Either step in or step out, fool! I’m not on your time…DELETE!

Not responding in a timely manner. That’s just plain rude…DELETE!

Talking on the phone in a public bathroom. Really!?!? No one on either end of that conversation is benefiting, and quite frankly, I really don’t need to hear about why the guy you were dating dumped your ass. Maybe because you had all your conversations with him while you were taking a dump, ya think?! DELETE!

Frosted lipstick—unless you're trying out looks for Halloween…DELETE!

So we shall see how this week goes. You never know, after the way last week went down I may be rocking a stellar shade of frosted pink lipstick by the week's end.
Mrs. Sassy Pants signing out…