Sunday, December 19, 2010

DELETE—The basket-case co-worker.

by Brittany Geragotelis

Once a week, my guest blogger (who shall remain nameless...okay, not nameless...let's call her
Ms. Sassy Pants. Sassy for short) stops by to share all the things in her life that deserve a big, fat DELETE. Anyhoo, her majesty is back and this week, her complaints are of those she works with from 9-5. Check out what she had to say and then come up with a few DELETES of your own.

My therapist says to let it all out (Yes, I have a therapist. Are you really that surprised? Just imagine what this weekly rant would be like if I didn’t.), so I’ll get to the point and let it all out.
photo credit: NBC/The Office
In my industry, I work with a lot of "creative types.” The kind who feel they have to “make their mark,” or as I like to call it, “rub there stank” all over every project. Recently I had an exchange with one of these overbearing "artistic gurus” (his term not mine…I’m sure you can see where this is going). We partnered up on a project and I set forth on my journey to accommodate his “needs.”
Unfortunately the only “needs” that were being met, was his “need” to control every aspect of the process (I realize my excessive use of quotation marks. This is the direct result of being mentally accosted by this crazy co-worker.). Was he mental? He must have been, because his behavior wasn't appropriate by any means, and frankly it just warranted the creation of a new class of DELETE.
DELETE due to insanity.
Here are just a few worthy examples of his complete and utter insanity (and in turn, his reason for DELETION):
He comes over to your desk to download and dump crap on you just because he doesn't have anything better to do…DELETE. Apparently you didn't know that I’m very busy and important.
He wastes your time (note above)…DELETE.
He talks to you while you're trying to ignore him...In other words, his mouth is moving, but he can’t seem to see that you're not listening. FYI, I have my headphones on for a reason, douche. DELETE.
He exhibits neurotic behavior of any kind…DELETE.
He thinks the world is out to get him…Get away from me, you paranoid freak! DELETE.
He's controlling in any way…DELETE.
He only wears the color that some crazy reflection of your mood, groucho? DELETE.
He whines to others in person or in an e-mail. You're a freaking adult, so stop acting like you’re two…DELETE.
His passive-aggressive BS. Tell it like it is pal…DELETE.
On another note...did I forget to I mention that I went out on a date with the guy in question? Now it all makes sense. Guess I’ll have something to talk about in therapy next week!