Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Are you freaking kidding me?

by Brittany Geragotelis

The other day, I logged on to find a friend request on FB from someone that I knew once-upon-a-time, but who I was never really friends with. The last time I even talked to him was over four years ago and although I by no means hate the guy, I wouldn't exactly consider him a friend. When I first signed up for FB (hesitantly, I might add), I made a decision only to friend people I actually wanted to keep in touch with. I'm past the point of accepting friend requests just because. This means that when some random person who went to the same high school as me, but never spoke to me once while I was there friends me, I don't feel obligated to say yes. So, I don't. I usually only hit accept if it's someone who's really A FRIEND. Or someone I want to be friends with at least.

So, keeping with my self-imposed FB rule, when this person sent me a friend request, I hit ignore. I didn't mean it as a "screw you," it's just that FB can be a scary place if the wrong people have access to you. So, I hit ignore. A day later, I received this message:

"Hope you are well. I'm sad that you rejected my friend request, but I'm sure you have your reasons."


Are you kidding me? Who does that? To be honest, I was dumbfounded. Who confronts someone for not accepting a friend request?

That got me thinking about online etiquette...what's appropriate and what's not. Is it OK to not accept a friend request of someone you know if you aren't really friends with them? After all, it's your prerogative to choose who you surround yourself with, right? Why shouldn't this extend to online friends. And I've heard other people talk about the horrors of being de-friended...apparently it's the equivalent to publicly breaking up with someone in a humiliating way. And what about the dreaded status change from "In a Relationship" to "Single." Is that an online No-No?

What do you guys think? Do you accept any friend request or are you selective about who you let into your online life? Should I have said yes to the request or better yet, should he have left it alone when I didn't add him? Leave your best Facebook faux pas in the comments section and you could win one of four copies of the book Taken Away by Ehi Ike!



Kate said...

Dude, I'm totally with you. Why be befriended by someone who's not in your life? On the other hand, maybe they're reaching out for a high school reunion or something. I think it's def a case by case basis. There are people with whom I have mutual friends that I honestly don't know. If it's a guy, that's a no. (I'm a gal.) If it's a gal and I think I know who they are-- maybe. But this person is going to see personal things about me: whatever my security settings are set to (and lots of people don't even know what settings they've consented to) will determine the pictures, posts, relationships and social life I have. Just how public do I want to be?

Denise Hendrix said...

I don't think you should have to accept anyone you don't want on your page. If you don't know them or they were not that close to you, I think you should ignore them. And to be honest Brittany, I'm glad you did ignore him. Responding like he did was just RUDE!

Anonymous said...

I was teased a lot in school from elementary thru highschool because of something that I cannot control. I have matured and realized that they weren't important, but when I was 15 and this guy asked me to the prom. I said yes and then he and his friends all laughed and were like ' you're a big retard' and it seemed like it was the end of the world to me.

So now every time I see a friend request from someone from my past that teased me or was down right mean, I figure this. I'm hot now....You weren't nice to me then. You laughed and teased me until I was in tears, so why do you think that now I would want you to be any part of my life now? Then I hit delete and go on my merry way. If they get upset, oh well. The people that I want to talk to and keep in touch with, I do. Everyone else isn't that important.

If that guy got upset, its probably an ego thing that you rejected him and that's his problem,not yours. You shouldn't feel obligated to accept everyone's friend request that you don't know or don't want to know.